This week I’ve started imagery rescripting with my psychologist. The idea being to revisit a painful memory but to rescript it in such a way that I’m able to provide the support that I needed in that situation.
Here are some stories about my family that I’m going over with my psychologist:
Revisiting the money conversation
In today’s session I revisit the conversation where my dad asks to borrow money. I close my eyes and we walk through the scenario. We dig up the emotions I felt, the sense of failure for not being able to help. And then my psychologist steps in and we tell my dad how much of a dick he’s being and how he’s failed as a parent.
Hugging your inner child
Then I’m asked to imagine my inner child and give them a big hug. I struggled to imagine my inner child as me though because I was bullied for being fat as a kid. I have shame associated with that image. I ended up imagining Christopher Robin.
I had bullies at school and in the family, no wonder why I developed some problems.
My next steps is to work on my inner self child image. If I can learn to love and accept an image of me that I have shame in, I will be able to heal more from the experience.