Wow. It was in February that I last posted about schema therapy. Today I had a chair session. The idea being, that I imagine my dad sitting in an empty chair in front of me and I tell him that I don’t deserve his criticism.
I role play an emotional and triggering scenario. We set the stage. I close my eyes and start role playing this scenario:
Dad calls, my heart skips a beat. I'm nervous. Lots of conversations with my dad make me feel like a failure. S: Hi Dad, how are you? D: Ok manph, what's news? S: not much, I've decided to drop engineering at uni. D: Why the hell have you done that? Don't you know how much money engineers make? S: I've been failing my engineering subjects and my mental health hasn't been good... D: (interrupts) It's a pretty stupid thing to do S: I'm doing this so I can graduate sooner, I'm 3/4 through my computer science degree D: What are you going to be able to with that? (condescending tone) S: I've done a bit of software testing for mobile stuff, there's websites and stuff too... D: You can make one of those android apps. Charge a dollar and get a million downloads S: It's not that simple...
Once we set the scene, I put my dad in the chair in front of me and I tell him how he’s a terrible parent. Why can’t he be supportive? This is not how a loving parent behaves.
I’ve always felt like my dad has been overly critical of my choices. He doesn’t get it, he’s always dismissing me, nor does he put in any effort to care. He often makes me feel like I can’t do anything right and that I am a complete failure.
I’m going to be proud of my own actions and efforts for me. It was a huge relief to be able to tell “my dad” what I actually thought of him. I’ve set up boundaries and I don’t deserve this treatment.
This role play is very similar to this scenario on you tube: