I have my first ever surgery tomorrow. I’m nervous yet excited. The pre surgery diet has been ok. When I was in Melbourne 2 weeks ago for a conference I slipped up and I didn’t stick to the diet completely. Part of me feels like a failure for needing to rely on surgery to get… Continue reading 1 day before surgery
Category: mental health
Most. Stressful. Day.
Let me tell you a story about a stressful day that I had today. I think it’s the most stressed I’ve ever felt. This story actually started a few weeks ago. I was riding my motorbike from Sydney to Cairns. I get up there with no problems. On the way back on Friday the 30th… Continue reading Most. Stressful. Day.
3 things that pissed me off while riding my motorbike from Sydney to Cairns
Let’s have a whinge about travel, I feel like everyone loves sharing the good bits but hardly share the annoying bits. Let’s celebrate all elements of travel. I’ll tell you 3 things that have been pissing me off the most on my most recent motorbike road trip (I rode my motorbike from Sydney to Cairns… Continue reading 3 things that pissed me off while riding my motorbike from Sydney to Cairns
Surgery, Surgery
Those words remind me of “Repo! The Genetic opera” and this catchy song: Repo! is a musical set in some future time where people are addicted to surgery/body modifications. And if you can’t pay the repayments the repo man will come and take back what was modified; leaving people dead, disabled or otherwise incapacitated. It’s… Continue reading Surgery, Surgery
Letters to darkness
I sit here and I reflect, How did I let you back in? you are not welcome here all you bring is misery & hate you make me hate myself you make me feel like a failure I did not invite you yet you came anyway you are always testing me waiting to… Continue reading Letters to darkness
Mental Health Strategy
I need to improve my mental and physical health. I have gained over 20kg in the last 18 months. I feel like all of the hard work that I put in when I first moved to Sydney has been undone. I often feel fat, lazy and out of control with my behaviour. I feel like… Continue reading Mental Health Strategy
My Cycle of Misery
I had a depressive episode today, thankfully it only lasted an hour or so. When my depression has been at its worst, a depressive episode could last all day and sometimes not involve a trigger. My episodes usually involve me uncontrollably breaking down into tears and I will cycle back into tears when the bad thoughts… Continue reading My Cycle of Misery
my wealth worries
I have a spending problem. I have been spending above my means for almost as long as I’ve had full time work. I hate how much my financial well-being impacts my mental well-being. Money is just so materialistic, I’d like to think that I’m above it’s impacts on me but unfortunately I’m not that zen.… Continue reading my wealth worries
my mindfulness stuff
I gave a short 5 minute talk about my depression in front of my whole company 2 weeks ago. I’ll take this opportunity to share what helps me try to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy is part of my treatment. It might not necessarily work for you but I think seeking professional help is… Continue reading my mindfulness stuff
My Perpetual incomplete list of things to do
mental heI have this perpetual list of incomplete stuff to do in my head and it constantly makes me feel like a failure. It makes it hard to acknowledge achievements when it feels like a never ending list. When I’m going through bouts of depression this list gets overwhelming. Here’s an example of stuff that’s… Continue reading My Perpetual incomplete list of things to do